Lessons Learned Along the WayAs I've seen old people do, they try to give advice. We'll with little now to do or be concerned with, I'm (like the Godfather movie) sitting in the garden sipping wine and thinking often about life. So, take some free advice or don't .. it won't effect me or mine. But, regardless of what you do, think .. plan .. and, most important, act in your own best interests. For those that value my advise, pass it on .. Loving others is common to all religions, and even those that are atheists. It doesn't cost anything to help, but it can cost you and yours lots by not helping. So, be happy and best wishes always. Now, on with my thoughts ... This isn't original, but I now believe them because of life .. not realizing these along the way.
Learning, the Hard WayI was taught several lessons that I now value more then ever. First, love one another. Second, do your best and do it every day. Third, know what you can change and what you can't (and wisdom is the difference). So, when I was very young, I thought I knew it all (sound familiar?). Being a child of 1, my first goal was to have a "family, a home and the means to pay for it all". I really believed I could create life (a family) that would love and support us all for our lifetime. So, I got married early (at 22), then I bought my 1st home (putting down my 20% on a then $50k house) and had 2 daughters by age 32. I loved it all, but spent my time on the "paying for it all". Then, I discovered my life (marriage) ended. It now seems we were both seeking different goals. But, that's another story. Despite having loved it all, it ended in 1981. For many years, life was good. But, for the last 7 years of my marriage, it wan't so good. Although I thought back then staying for the sake of the kids was a must, but I couldn't make it work. Incidentally, I was determined (despite being heir to a fortune) to do it on my own. Now, realize my dad believed that each of us had to carry our own way. Dad always thought that you did what you could (all the time) for the family, and you earned your own living. So, I being determined to live up to his expectations, always worked. Before I was in my teens, I earned money from odd jobs and some shows as an entertainer. Then, I got my first full-time job at 22, and believed I was on my way. I was earning $6,500/yr even after graduating with my MBA and an IT certification. My passion for business and IT would allow me to earn $63k/yr by 1985 in the corporate world. During one chat, I was advised to "settle down" as I was being paid in the top 2%. So, I settled down, but also did work on a consulting basis and worked with my dad's real estate. This would supplement our income and allow life to evolve again. Lessons Learned, The Hard WayThere were so many, but I kept missing them. First, blood is thicker than water .. but not real friendships. Family believed and more important were firm in that I make my own way. This is not to say they didn't provide when I was young and growing up, but later (when I needed help during hard times, they looked the other way). I know this is hard to believe, and they did periodically help in certain ways, but frankly I had to make it on my own. My dad, being wise and having learned the hard way (divorce) advised me to get my life setup before trying to make a family and pick up all the hardships. But, I didn't follow his advice, paying for it for many years .. financially and worse, emotionally. I now see it completely his way. Marriage is great, but you need to be set before you invite trouble (lol). If you get set, and have a prenup in place, then parting of the ways can be made easier .. considering the high rate of failure today. Both Paulina and I worked, earning and spending (us, ex-family, etc) about $10k/month .. and, we only had son John when Paulina was 40. This is not to say we had it easy, but looking back we did what we had to do, and paid for it all. Considering it all, I was lucky, and thank God and Paulina for our "Happy Days". Love is Lovelier the 2nd Time AroundWhen my first marriage ended, I thought it best to leave it all to my wife and girls. So, I lived with my then best friend Peter, and a few months later in a family owned, rent free unit. But, when I got serious with Paulina, I was literally turned out. This too would prove to be a blessing (and that's been an ongoing story). Both Paulina and I had been married, and after a 2 year living together situation, got married, had son John and were working harder than ever. Hopefully, many will survive and thrive, but this doesn't happen without making it happen .. and can fail over and over. My life, and my family's life has been an open book. And, I'm still excited about today and even more about tomorrow. Thanks for viewing, and being part of our world. John
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